Ideal Bite

There's my entry for "Best Sex Industry Pun." My mother must be so proud right now.

A German madam has launched a new discount offer at her East Berlin brothel: Travel green and save yourself a few euros. Fifteen minutes inside would have run you €30, but show 'em a bike helmet, your U-lock keys, or your bus ticket and it's only €25.

The madam estimates that about 10% of the clientele is taking advantage of the deal. No matter what industry you're in, times are tough, but it's nice to know that going green will always pay off.

-Senior Editor Mike...off to ride his bike - to the store, sicko...
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No one ever told me that being engaged would be so much fun. Everyone is excited and congratulatory. Something that you think is highly personal and only between two people suddenly becomes a spark of joy for your family and friends. All in all - the stress of planning aside - I highly recommend getting engaged as soon as possible. It’s a good gig.

Being a blogger is also an interesting gig - you never really know how much of your own life to put on display, and when it comes to involving your friends and family in your stories, you have to tread lightly. But The Boyfriancé and I had a little chat the other night, and he agreed to let me write about this whole wedding planning process, in the name of greening the greater good.

So here goes - stay tuned for the good, the bad, and the ugly in the process of designing my very own Big, Fat, Read the full post... 

So JM commented in Monday's blog about the hotness of the illustration girls in our new templates, and I'd have to agree. (You know, for illustrations.)

But even if I were an illo boy, I don't think they'd be into me. First, here's Illo Mike:



(Note the guns, illo ladies. Oh yeah.)

New York:



So I really like the t-shirt-and-mussed-hair style, but she's already kinda turning away from me, which is not a good sign.

Chicago:



This girl obviously knows how to dress, so she probably wants a more Read the full post... 

Stress ≠ romance. This we know. So instead of racing around town in search of the perfect red-polyester thong to wear on Valentine's Day, or fueling up to drive to the B&B that throws in a pink teddy bear with a two-night stay, take a bath with your sugar muffin (keeping today's water-saving tips in mind) and relax. 

A few suggestions:

Leave time to plan (you've got 9 days) = you're good to go

A clean bathtub  =  Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day Surface Scrub

Sensuous-y bubble bath = Ylang Ylang and Cedarwood EO Bubble Bath

One or two candles = maybe Read the full post... 

Tomorrow, I'll actually be wearing a bridesmaid's dress. And this time, while I didn't have the option of picking anything I wanted, I did get a choice of four styles-all of which happened to be gorgeous. To boot, the bride doesn't care what shoes we wear. For me, the shoes have always been the real problem with bridesmaid get-ups-in particular, the dyed-to-match satin ones that are neither attractive nor durable nor comfortable. I've worn these types of shoes on two occasions: The dye on one pair ran immediately after I stepped on a patch of wet grass, and the other pair (white) scuffed up in the first five minutes and installed some serious blisters. I never wore them again, and though I donated them, I really, really doubt anyone else did either.

-Jenifer Morgan...off to put a sock in it...

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 Nothing shocks me anymore.

One of my best friends has pretty much done it all, indulging in fetishes most of us didn't know were fetishes, like hypothermia. For the past decade I've lived vicariously through him, and now I'm totally jaded when it comes to sex toys. Got to say, though, this one brought a creepy smile to my face, since it's the perfect fusion of two of my most favorite things ever.

MSG and Styrofoam, I mean.

-Toshio...off to get some ramen... Read the full post... 

To me, lingerie is something reserved for relationships...a little treat to spice up an evening with someone who has seen you after you've been crying or working out or screaming your head off unnecessarily about nothing in particular simply because your computer crashed three times that day.

In short, lingerie has never struck me as something to wear while wandering around the house on your own (itchy lace and creeping thongs), and why bother donning any during already-hot-enough new flings, or wearing any out in the hopes of a random hot evening? (I'm lucky if my legs are shaved, let alone if my underwear matches.)

Since I am perpetually single, then, this tip - at first glance - seems not to apply to me.

But lately, I am subscribing to the "If you build it, they will come" theory of life, and thus, have decided to put on some Mon Cherie hemp Read the full post... 

So of course it is pretty and makes you feel pretty when you put it on, but my problem is that I can't keep up with it. I have lost or had stolen practically every nice piece I have ever had. So once I find things that I definitely LOVE LOVE LOVE, I just leave them on. For example, I super-glued a pair of earrings into my ears in 2002, and they haven't come out. That way I don't lose them (there are kind of nice, but I more just love the original design and sweet little hoop shape). And the necklace that I haven't taken off since I got it 6 months ago? A simple chain with this pressed blop of metal that has the word "gratitude" engraved in it. That is definitely the key to loving life really...being grateful, whether or not we are wearing that shiny new bling-ditty-bling thing.

Now, I do NOT have the same philosophy with horse gear... The more the better. But I do get it used

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At weddings when I was little I coveted the roles of both the ringbearer and the flower girl. Take your pick - I would've been stellar at either one. You grow up, and your desires/jealousies change. Now I covet all the wedding gifts (although the whole "blissful matrimony" thing seems pretty cool as well). I need a new toaster oven. I could really use a quality wine corker.

Wedding registries are pretty much awesome for all involved - the couple gets exactly what they want, and there's absolutely no guesswork involved on the part of the giver. Happy couple, happy guest. What really has me jonesing to tie the knot, now, are all the new green gift registries that offer stuff I would so totally use. Organic bedding? Check. Bamboo tableware? Check. Finally an alternative for those of us who go for stuff not usually found at Pier 1. 

-Toshio... off to

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Okay this is almost too much...

I am at the Leaf & Bean coffee shop where "Crazy for You" is playing, feeling amorous with V-day coming up and having seen Vagina Monologues last night, and kicked off the weekend with steamy date on Friday night. 

Now, I have to talk about wedding dresses?  Might push me over the edge.  What edge?  The one where a girl goes into that zone of "must get married."  I have always been happier to be by myself than with the wrong person (well, at least I didn't marry that wrong person, let's just say).  And I have always felt sorry for those love sick girls that are always falling so easily and saying "He's the one" after 3 dates, and naming their kids after 5. 

However, I do see that "edge" approaching for me.  Mainly because I do want a little rug-rat... just one.  And tons of animals.

Back to wedding Read the full post...