Ideal Bite

Living in an apartment can really test one’s neighborly instincts. Never mind the lush downstairs who once forgot to put pants on before getting into the elevator (not kidding), the snarky art students smoking in the entryway, and the still-unidentified neighbor who left food on my doorstep one night. The real drama comes courtesy of the 1-foot-square trash chute (installed in the 1920s) that runs all twelve stories of my apartment building. On several occasions, people have overloaded the chute, thereby clogging it, or tossed containers with food or liquid still inside, which often burst around floor three and emanate rotten food smell on up to my own floor six and beyond. Since I have method-brand fabric softener on hand anyway, I go the DIY route and mix some with water, then shoot. So what if I pretend I’m taking aim at the neighbor responsible for the mess? -Jenifer Morgan… off to put my nose in a book…