Ideal Bite

So who would have guessed that the extreme makeover craze would hit the mascot unit of the U.S. Forest Service? Woodsy the Owl has a new look and a new line—and I have to say, I really miss the fat-and-friendly original. Old Woodsy took litter seriously, but he wouldn’t wig out if you accidentally dropped a sandwich bag. New Woodsy, by contrast, seems like the type of overachieving, iron-pumping scout master who might inject an injured nature friend with steroids to get him through a hike.
But then, I’m the daughter of a forester, so Old Woodsy’s words and ways were instilled in me at an early age. On family camping trips, my brother and I were responsible for picking up 10 individual pieces of trash on the campground before dinner. We’d shuffle through thickets and through the sooty fire pits of adjacent camp spaces, and then present our respective collections to Dad for counting. I’d sit through my brother’s presentation of trash or he’d sit through mine, and sometimes Dad would make a show of his own assortment of items.
Our reward? Eating dinner in the trees, rather than a heap of trash.
 -Jenifer Morgan (the Bite’s trashy new senior editor)… off to assure Smokey the Bear he’s not fat, just fluffy…