I Don’t Really Need Another [Insert Obligatory Gift Here]
According to Merriam-Webster, the word "obligation" primarily relates to matters contractual and fiscal:
Main Entry: ob·li·ga·tion
1: the action of obligating oneself to a course of action (as by a promise or vow) 2a: something (as a formal contract, a promise, or the demands of conscience or custom) that obligates one to a course of action b: a debt security (as a mortgage or corporate bond) c: a commitment (as by a government) to pay a particular sum of money ; also: an amount owed under such an obligation obligations, the company went into bankruptcy> 3a: a condition or feeling of being obligated b: a debt of gratitude 4: something one is bound to do: duty, responsibility
Oooh, such fun, no? The definition itself is full of scary economic references, complete with mentions of government and bankruptcy. In fact, there is only a single word in the entire definition that feels full of positivity and light: "gratitude" (but they even wreck that with the use of "debt of...").
So I've decided that I am supposed to take this definition - indeed, this time and place in our economy - as a further sign that I need to stop with the obligatory gifts. Instead of taking something that is meant to be meaningful and schmoopy (gift-giving), and weighing it down with debt/demands/contracts...let's make a pact with everyone we love:
If it's not the very best, most perfect gift you've ever found for that person at that point in time...agree to wait until something better comes up.
Because I'm pretty sure you didn't need that perfume anyway.
-Heather...off to send an email telling my friends and fam about the plan...
And now... The Worst Obligatory Gifts We've Ever Received
- Mama Bite Editor Alison: "A paperweight. When is that ever appropriate?"
- NY Editor Brianne: "When I was 19 I was dating this Lebanese guy. I think he had no clue about women and got me this huge Estée Lauder makeup kit the size of a briefcase, which would have been OK, I guess, if A) I wore makeup, or B) I was a 10-year-old."
- Chicago Editor Daisy: "I received a cookbook for Southern-style meat. I'm a vegetarian. I also received a personalized planner from my landlord. Personalized with her name and address."
- Editorial Assistant Erica: "My ex-boyfriend bought me a bright orange bathrobe. I don't wear orange, and even if I did, who wants an orange bathrobe? Not very sexy..."
- SF Editor Hanah: "One Hanukkah during high school I got a crystal vase from a boyfriend's aunt. So impersonal. And an ex-boyfriend waited in my room with the lights off until I came home, so he could give me a huge apple-scented Bath & Body Works basket. Needless to say, I broke up with him soon after that."
- Seattle Editor Jen H: "A s'mores maker in a beat-up box that, from the looks of the happy people making s'mores on it, was at least a decade old. Such an obvious regift. It was a wedding gift from my husband's 31-year-old male cousin, at least according to the cousin's mom's handwriting on the gift tag."
- Editorial Director Jenifer: "This Christmas I got an irregularly large, silver soap dish in the shape of a shell."
- LA Editor Molly: "All that comes to mind is this guy who had a crush on me in fourth grade. He gave me a glass unicorn figurine. I felt all weird because I didn't like him, so I shoved it in my desk, and alas...it broke."
- Senior Editor Theresa: "I received a cockroach from an ex-boyfriend - specifically, according to him, a $20 hissing roach from Madagascar. I screamed when I opened it."
- Daily Tip Editor Toshio: "I got an incense burner and Nag Champa for a birthday once. I don't burn incense."




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