Ideal Bite

Dr. Oz (if that is his real name) claims that men possess an alcohol digesting enzyme that allows them to process alcohol, but when women drink, the alcohol goes directly into the bloodstream.

My name is Hanah, and alcohol goes directly into my bloodstream. 

I have a few remedies, all of which work only if I am able to uproot myself from horizontal misery and travel along the path from remorse and self-loathing to active problem solving:

Steps:

1. Shower: Lay on the shower floor if you must, but do it, and end with cold water to shock your system.
2. Eat an egg and a banana (not together): Egg yolks contain large amounts of cysteine, which breaks down acetaldehyde, a hangover baddie. Bananas have potassium (you flushed all yours down the toilet last night during your 27+ trips to the bathroom).
3. Beverage: Bust out the Soda Club you got from Chrismukkah and mix in a packet of Ola Loa Sport with your seltzer to infuse electrolytes. You're thirsty and you're gonna want to pound it, but a very wise man (Mike Krolak) once said to me "sip slowly."

-SF Editor Hanah...off to break my vow to never drink again, ever...

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