Ideal Bite

By the way-I am also vehemently opposed to changing my last name. Why can't men understand this? I have never met a guy who says they would be happy to have a wife that kept her last name and really meant it. It's usually just something they say to shut me up. Any dudes out there got any feedback for me?

i also actual like my last name and most likely wont change it. my aunt didnt change her last name for the longest time (until they had children) because she simply didnt like my uncles last name. this caused a serious uproar in our family. i dont understand why. How do you guys feel about a compromise- like hypenating both last names for a new one? Or him changing his last name?

Though I appreciate efforts to create a wedding culture that is healthier for people and the planet, I am increasingly concerned about the "feel good" world of carbon offsets. The New Internationalist magazine recently published an issue devoted to the complexities of carbon offsetting. If you're concerned about hosting a truly green wedding, I would definitely encourage you to avoid cruise ships, as the state of our oceans is dire indeed. No amount of tree planting can offset the damage caused by over-fishing, climate change and recreational pollution from the cruise industry and the like. Mother Jones is a great resource to explore the "fate of the oceans" further. (http://www.motherjones.com/toc/2006/03/index.html) New Internationalist Editor, Adam Ma'anit, encourages critical inquiry into the carbon offsetting debate in the July 2006 issue. (http://www.newint.org/issues/2006/07/01/) "As concern about climate change grows and our profligate use of fossil fuels continues unchecked, many companies, governments and individuals have been turning to 'carbon offsets' for a cheap and easy option to reduce their contribution to global warming. However, the principles underlying carbon offsetting are deeply flawed. Many of the projects that are claimed as being beneficial to the climate cause harm to communities and ecosystems in other ways. The boon that the carbon offset industry has given to large monoculture tree plantations in particular is of great concern. This issue explores the thorny and complex issues behind the emerging 'carbon offset' industry, the communities negatively affected by so-called climate friendly projects, and what really needs to happen to counter climate change."

Heather, I will be changing my name for the second time and you BETTER have the date on deck for JUNE 23rd, 2007 so you can dance at my wedding! My new last name will be Vail and I love it! The only eco friendly thing I can think of from our wedding is that we are taking the wedding party to the reception site in a limo (so that would save on emissions from 5 or 6 cars...right?) Great tip on the carbon offsetting!

You know, it's funny--when I got married, I told my husband I'd be happy to take his name if he wanted me to, and he basically said, "Gee, I don't care, you're the one who has to use the name." So I ended up keeping my own name as the default option (no need to change my driver's license and so on). It does get a bit tiresome having to explain to people, "I believe the appointment is in my husband's name," but it has one nice perk: If someone phones up and asks for "Mrs. So-and-So," I can immediately flag the caller as a telemarketer and get rid of her with the honest reply, "I'm sorry, there's no one here by that name." As for the carbon offsets, we chose the route of planning a wedding so simple there was almost nothing to offset. We had it in a state park, with the ceremony and reception at the same site, and we booked a block of rooms for our guests at a nearby hotel with shuttle service. The spread was mostly vegetarian and the only real eco-travesty was the disposable dishes and utensils (washing dishes at the park just wasn't an option). True, we didn't go all-out organic with everything (our budget wouldn't have permitted it), but I like to think the simplicity of the event helped keep the ecological footprint of our wedding pretty small.

For all the reasons Amy noted, I think it's irrresponsible of Ideal Bite, which I usually love, honor, and cherish, to say "go all out guilt-free!" You can never do that. There are impacts and in the world of pollutants, there's no such thing as a free lunch. Offsetting is offsetting, an attempt to help. It's not penance and it's not a cure for global warming.

Oops I meant Melanie Redman. Hard ot tell whose post goes with what name.

It's funny, I was just telling my guy this weekend that when we get married, we should strive for a green wedding. (Maybe this coincidence is a sign! I should tell him and get a kick out of watching the look on his face!) If anyone's interested in green wedding rings, check out www.greencarat.com. As far as the name changing goes: I'll keep mine thanks. My brother, on the other hand, recently got married and they are both going to change their names to a completely new name! They are going to combine their names to come up with something in between. I thought that was kinda cool.

I'm getting married this winter and I am trying my darndest to have a green or at least semi-green wedding. Recycled invites/save the dates, organic flowers, etc. Can't think of any dress ideas other than the fact that I don't intend to keep it hanging in a closet forever, which a lot of women do for some reason. What I'm actually curious about though is something called the I Do Foundation. They donate part of the purchase proceeds from your registry to whatever charity you choose (green and non-green), but other than one article online, I haven't heard anything about them so I'm worried if it's too good to be true.

SpaceShare has been setting up carpools and roomshares for conferences and festivals, and is about to start helping green weddings: http://www.spaceshare.com/green_weddings Getting the two sides to carpool together is a good way to build bonds between the families and friends while greening. I'm hoping to collect lots of green wedding ideas at http://www.green-weddings.org (not publicly launched yet) then announce the idea to the 300,000+ people who go to festivals where SpaceShare sets up carpools. Would love your green weddings suggestions, I want to announce all the other green wedding sites there if you have one, or even looking for a partner to launch this together!

Carbon Offsets are a lot like recycling... if they get you to think about your impact, they're great; if they get you to feel like "I'm done," they're a problem. Wedding carbon-offsets would best be done by detailing to the guests what actions need to be offset by how much. You might discover, for example, that you don't really want to mine gold or diamonds if that tiny ring releases a mountain's worth of pollution, or realize that you want to celebrate once on each coast (1 couple rather than 50 guests flying) if flights turn out to be the biggest carbon burner. But just blanket-carbon-offsetting takes the steam out of real greening efforts.

To the person with the question about the I Do foundation, it's real! A very green couple we know asked their guests to donate to it in lieu of gifts and when we did we received both a notification from I Do and a thank you from the bride and groom. BTW, I got married in a (fair-trade!) sundress, which I have worn several other times, usually to our anniversary dinner or other related family events. So if you can't get a somehow organic dress, just select a style you may want to wear again, or that can be tailored in some way for reuse (cut shorter, lace removed, etc.)

I can also give I Do Foundation a thumbs-up. My dress is being hand-made out of organic bamboo fabric, and in style that can be hemmed to a shorter sundress length afterwards. It's also machine-washable, and dye-able if I ever get tired of ivory.

(Hope this doesn't end up being a double-post.) I'm excited about this being wedding week at Ideal Bite. I am planning a wedding that's vegan, organic, and low-impact. We are keeping it small to be able to afford organic: 50 people. City parks for venues. My father is making the favors. My dress is of bamboo fabric; my fiance's clothes are hemp. (Emilibee, we share a wedding date!) I could write a book on the challenges and hurdles of trying to do an eco-friendly wedding - and I'm in the "greenest" city of all, Seattle. I can only imagine how difficult (impossible, even) it is for couples in less eco-minded areas. By the way, Katie, my fiance will be taking *my* last name - which was a name I created and took on legally years ago, so I'd never dream of changing it to someone else's. :)

Let's not forget that a used wedding dress can be donated to www.makingmemories.org which sells these dresses to grant wishes to women with terminal breast cancer. Also, you can check out their website and see where sales are being held by city so you are doing two good deeds for the price of one. I donated my wedding dress a few years ago because I liked what was being done with the money and wouldn't you know it, June of 2005 I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

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Hi everyone. What a great website! My green friend sent me a Bite invite because my fiance and I are planning a wedding which we'd like to be as green as possible. As for the name question, we're in the arts, so my fiance was 100% confident I should keep my name and was the first to say that. I worry a bit about what it would be like to have different names if we had kids, but I've heard that it's becoming the norm. Nice to hear about the telemarketer bonus! And as for favors, we've decided to buy trees for all of our guests through Trees for Life (and Macy's lets you also donate to them every time someone buys something off your registry-- again, being in the arts, there are cooking things we'd love to have but could never dip into our pockets for). We've also registerd at NOVICA, which I highly recommend! I don't know how green it is-- especially since it involves shipping, but it's fair trade, which I feel strongly about. We're cutting down on paper as much as possible with e-mail and one card/envelope with RSVP by phone or e-mail. Does anyone know about the PCF invitations at Formal Invitations.com? We found beautiful invitations at Paper Source, but they couldn't guarantee how much of them were recycled material. Many of the sites we've seen with recycled paper invitations are really pricey. Any thoughts?

Cristina, You might consider the place where I'm getting my invitations made. It's a job-training program at a battered women's shelter. They hand-make paper from recycled materials (and can add "botanical elements" like dried flowers/leaves). They're *beautiful* and they can do anything you ask. Including making the RSVP card a postcard so - no envelope waste! www.womancraft.net And, their prices are very reasonable, cheaper than a lot of typical wedding invitations. They will send you samples to consider before you make a decision. Congrats!

Is anyone else concerned about giving guests seeds, plants, and/or trees - being, for one thing, seldom organic and for another, seldom native to where the guest lives?

Hello there GREEN Wedding people, I am writing to introduce myself. My name is Daphne and I am the one and only GREEN Event Planner in the beautiful state of COLORADO (at least that's what they tell me) I'm excited to be a part of something so new, innovative and well, hopeful crew of people. If anyone knows of anyone in Colorado who is having an event or a wedding, please have them contact me. www.coloradogreenweddings.com Happy Wedding Season, Daphne

thank for posting. i enjoyed reading your blog Jane ______________________________________ flower girl dresses

I really like your post. Wedding is a traditional celebration. Before some days one of my friend invited me in his 1st wedding anniversary and i really enjoyed there. I and my wife gave him and his wife anniversary gifts. It was really nice celebrations. Thanks for sharing nice information.