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Roses are Red, Violets are Modest

I don't mean to be a jerk, but if you send me roses (unless they are organic, of course), you lack imagination.  If they are in a decorative basket that I should later use for serving bread, it becomes even more apparent that you have NO IDEA what you are doing.

And if - god forbid - there is any sort of stuffed animal anywhere near said arrangement, you can pretty much guarantee that ours will be a short-lived affair.

(In the interests of full disclosure, I got precisely that arrangement once.  I stayed with that guy for three years.  This was a serious lapse in judgment.  I shoulda taken my cue from the flowers.  Oh - the meaning was right - the guy just wasn't).

Life used to be a bit more simple by being somewhat more complex.  In Victorian times, the kinds of flowers you sent were a code to your feelings.

So if you are feeling a bit coy, here's a nice little key to help you decide really what kind of (organic) flowers you want to send this holiday: http://www.victorianbazaar.com/meanings.html.  (Apologies for the fact that the background looks like someone vomited flowers all over your screen - this site makes the Unicorn Tapestries look naked and unadorned).

So, check it out, and you can see why - this year - I prefer receiving pansies to roses, and hope never to receive rhododendrons as a gift.

-Heather... off to rifle through old love letters...

Posted by: jboulden on 02/09/2006
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sara  on February 09, 2006 at 09:39 AM 1
He can give me all the organic roses he wants to, as long as he promises not to get upset when I remove all the petals and tincture those in perfumer's alcohol, tee hee. Heck, he can get me a couple jasmine plants, too, while he's at it ;)
a guy  on February 12, 2008 at 11:53 AM 2
Wow that's really sassy and all, but judging a human being's spirit by the *gift* that they send you says a heck of a lot more about your shallowness than it does theirs. I'm sure karma will ensure that you end up in a nice loveless marriage with a floral expert someday.
jaclyn  on February 12, 2008 at 12:19 PM 3
i wouldn't agree with 'a guy's' comment regarding shallowness and this gift. after a friend of many, many years proclaimed his love for me with a card he had someone else sign (to hide who he was) and left it with cut flowers- i knew it would never work. i have a love for plants and it became very apparent that he didn't pay very much attention to the type of person i am when he gave me flowers that were cut and would soon die. a potted plant would have worked much more to his favor. he wasn't the one for me and so it could have been very good for me that this symbol turned me off indefinitely.
Corinne  on February 12, 2008 at 12:31 PM 4
Certainly, "a guy" should keep his curses to himself. Giving is an essential factor in romance (hear that, cheapskates?) and the choice of gifts conveys the giver's intentions better than words. Look up the word, "psychometry."
Beth  on February 12, 2008 at 12:51 PM 5
A gift is a gift if it comes from the heart. FYI I just found out that New Seasons Market is the only brick and mortar retailer west of the Mississippi to offer fair-trade roses--pretty cool if you live in this area.
janice  on February 12, 2008 at 12:53 PM 6
Heather, I can't agree w/ you more! Roses, esp'y the long-stemmed farmed ones, are just plain boring--cliched, even. Nothing pleases me more than a gift of flowers IN SEASON. Tulips in spring, mums in fall, etc. My friends call me churlish when I try to 'correct' my dear husband's flower buying habits, but dang it, why waste money on cliched flowers??? Roses: ptooey!
lucinda  on February 12, 2008 at 01:29 PM 7
Wow, this is so sad. So many men have NO idea what to get the women they love for Valentine's Day: they're out there freaking out because they love you but they read this and then see that every. single. aspect. of their gift--a material gift, rather than the gift of love or respect or time--is being cruelly critiqued. This is horrible. A gift should be measured by the love behind it, not by whether it "bores" you or not. You sound so jaded. I'm sorry your relationship with that guy whose flowers bored you didn't work out, but frankly if the FLOWERS were the only bellwether to give that away, you maybe weren't looking at the relationship with a thoughtful enough eye.
ag  on February 12, 2008 at 01:41 PM 8
I can not believe the comments about you being shallow and materialistic. If a person takes the time to really know and understand you, they will know what an appropriate gift will be.
Shaina  on February 12, 2008 at 01:54 PM 9
To "a guy" and "Lucinda": is it shallow to expect the giver to KNOW the person to whom they give a gift? I'm sorry, but roses are a cop-out: they're not much better than the singing-monkey-plush-and-plastic-flower bit you can pick up at Walgreen's for $7.99. Isn't it rather shallow on the part of the giver to resort to an old cliche? If you're giving a gift to someone you CARE about, shouldn't you care enough about them to know what kind of gift to give? My boyfriend would never EVER buy me a boquet of cut flowers, because he knows I much prefer living plants that will continue to grow and be beautiful. He cares enough to recognize those things, unlike some who are too SHALLOW to invest that energy in a relationship, and who would therefore buy a gift just to give "something." Those gifts aren't from the heart; they're just "something."
Jeanne  on February 12, 2008 at 01:56 PM 10
FLOWERS ARE A WASTE! Save your money. I'd rather have a hand written note/poem from my hubby written on lovely stationary. Now this would be something I could keep FOREVER!
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