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Roses are Red, Violets are Modest

I don't mean to be a jerk, but if you send me roses (unless they are organic, of course), you lack imagination.  If they are in a decorative basket that I should later use for serving bread, it becomes even more apparent that you have NO IDEA what you are doing.

And if - god forbid - there is any sort of stuffed animal anywhere near said arrangement, you can pretty much guarantee that ours will be a short-lived affair.

(In the interests of full disclosure, I got precisely that arrangement once.  I stayed with that guy for three years.  This was a serious lapse in judgment.  I shoulda taken my cue from the flowers.  Oh - the meaning was right - the guy just wasn't).

Life used to be a bit more simple by being somewhat more complex.  In Victorian times, the kinds of flowers you sent were a code to your feelings.

So if you are feeling a bit coy, here's a nice little key to help you decide really what kind of (organic) flowers you want to send this holiday: http://www.victorianbazaar.com/meanings.html.  (Apologies for the fact that the background looks like someone vomited flowers all over your screen - this site makes the Unicorn Tapestries look naked and unadorned).

So, check it out, and you can see why - this year - I prefer receiving pansies to roses, and hope never to receive rhododendrons as a gift.

-Heather... off to rifle through old love letters...

Posted by: jboulden on 02/09/2006
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Teresa  on February 12, 2008 at 02:14 PM 11
I am sorry to be so negative but I really don't like Valentines Day. We are bombarded with 9 million suggestions from all directions and every suggestions starts with "This gift is PERFECT for you special one". I honestly think that most people feel 'damned if they do and damned if they don't'. My Honey and I agree every year that we are not going to celebrate but he gets so overwhelmed by all the comments his female co-workers make about how they expect to be so disappointed with the crummy gift that they will get this year. He ends up fretting and trying to buy me lots of expensive things when I have told him a hundred times that all I want is a simple intimate dinner. What a miserable way to celebrate a holiday that's supposed to be all about love and appreciation. Again, Sorry!! I didn't mean to get on a soap-box.
Laura  on February 12, 2008 at 03:22 PM 12
I like roses. :) I think if you have been with someone a while, it is reasonable to expect them to know you, and mostly have heard you if you said you don't like flowers or if you said you do. However, if someone doesn't know you very well, it is rude to say, "This gift is SO not me." Well, I guess it's rude no matter when, but the former case is more understandable.
lucinda  on February 12, 2008 at 03:24 PM 13
Shaina, it's not shallow at all to expect the person to know you & to give you a gift that's thoughtful, but to be so reductive about the whole thing is really inappropriate, in my opinion. For example, I know my BF is utterly stymied about the upcoming V-Day, and if he buys me flowers I will love them as much as if he bought me that "perfect" gift. All I really want for V-Day is his love. If I can't feel that love without him purchasing me "that perfect gift," then (a) this is not a good relationship to begin with or (b) I need to stop being so materialistic.
joyce h glasser  on February 12, 2008 at 04:09 PM 14
in a perfect world, we would all get what we want, when we want it, and who we want it from.......but alas, it is not a perfect world.....we are imperfect creatures just trying our best to love and be loved......take what someone gives you in the spirit in which it was intended and be gracious... joyce
Gloria  on February 12, 2008 at 04:20 PM 15
Thank you Joyce. I think that says it all!
Laura  on February 12, 2008 at 05:02 PM 16
Very eloquently said Joyce... I couldn't agree more.
Debbie  on February 12, 2008 at 05:26 PM 17
Laura stole my thunder a bit, lol; but I was going to say I "love" roses. All colors. If they're (freshly) cut, they open & open until they look like saucers. Can't seem to resist taking pictures from bud to full bloom. Then I hang them upside down to dry with a pretty bow tied around & use them all over the house to decorate. In the summer when it's humid, the natural scent really floats around from the dried roses. I do love to get plants that will continue growing; but believe in using all the cut flowers the way I do, it's much less wasteful. Even conserving. And they're so Victorian... which is my decor style. Blessings, Debbie
Karen Douchette  on February 12, 2008 at 06:05 PM 18
I feel when someone is thoughtful enough to think of you on Valentine's Day and buy you a gift, that you should be thankful and feel that you are special to that person. After all they took the time and thought about you. If you did not receive anything from this person, you would then have another complaint about them. People like you don't deserve a gift with that kind of an attitude. You should experience the side of many who do not receive anything on Valentine's Day because they either have no one that is thoughtful enough or are not into any relationship and would like to be. The people who don't receive would be grateful for any thought that was given to them.
Maggie  on February 12, 2008 at 06:27 PM 19
I must admit, I agree with both Lucinda and Teresa ("a guy", you can take a hike). Women spend too much time complaining and whining about "miserable gifts" they have recieved in the past; nobody, least of all our beaus, deserve the marketing stress behind V-Day. Shouldn't a holiday set aside for love be ABOUT love (which is about accepting all aspects of someone's personality and loving them anyways) instead of what somebody buys you? Part of the reason my fiance and I have gotten along so well is because we make a point celebrate Valentine's Day whenever we feel like it. He'll come out gardening or help me prepare a presentation, and I'll attend one of his wine tastings or make him his favorite dish. Then, at the end of the day, we can both say, "Happy Valentine's Day!" even if it's closer to Thanksgiving. Doesn't the feeling count more than your preference against teddy bears?
Carrie  on February 12, 2008 at 07:28 PM 20
What I'm confused about is that if Ideal Bite and so many readers think cut flowers, organic are not, are a waste or cliche, than why didn't our sassy tip writers come up with something good rather than such a cliche tip? One of my college English professors whom I admire once told the class to never use cliches in your writing...it disinterests the reader and devalues your topic.
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