Ideal Bite

OK, so me writing about sex these days, as I sit here, chained to my computer, is sort of like a nun talking about her crack habit (pun totally intended), but hey - I have a memory, I can make this work.

Ten Things You SHOULDN'T Do with Organic Personal Lubricant:

• Eat it straight out of the tube to see how the cinnamon flavor tastes.
• Put it on your Labor Day sunburn just because it contains aloe.
• Send it to your mom and tell her to give it away as a school prize to her middle school students.
• Put it in your hair when you run out of conditioner.
• Oil your squeaky door.
• Use it to flavor your coffee - it really doesn't blend well.
• Put it in your diesel engine to see if it works like biodiesel.
• Use it as a massage oil in your yoga class (although I bet it would work nicely).
• Use it to soothe the bee sting on the back of your knee - I think the sweetness draws the bees back to the scene of the crime.
• Send it to your exes with a note that says "Happy Biting."

As for what you SHOULD do with it? Well, I leave that in your capable, um, er... hands. Hope your weekend is hot and sultry. Happy Biting.

-Heather... off to fantasize a little about Christian Bale...

22 Comments 

 Permalink

 Send to a Friend