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Where is a Hot Italian Named Marcello When You Need Him?

OK, so me writing about sex these days, as I sit here, chained to my computer, is sort of like a nun talking about her crack habit (pun totally intended), but hey - I have a memory, I can make this work.

Ten Things You SHOULDN'T Do with Organic Personal Lubricant:

  • Eat it straight out of the tube to see how the cinnamon flavor tastes.
  • Put it on your Labor Day sunburn just because it contains aloe.
  • Send it to your mom and tell her to give it away as a school prize to her middle school students.
  • Put it in your hair when you run out of conditioner.
  • Oil your squeaky door.
  • Use it to flavor your coffee - it really doesn't blend well.
  • Put it in your diesel engine to see if it works like biodiesel.
  • Use it as a massage oil in your yoga class (although I bet it would work nicely).
  • Use it to soothe the bee sting on the back of your knee - I think the sweetness draws the bees back to the scene of the crime.
  • Send it to your exes with a note that says "Happy Biting."

As for what you SHOULD do with it? Well, I leave that in your capable, um, er... hands. Hope your weekend is hot and sultry. Happy Biting.

-Heather... off to fantasize a little about Christian Bale...

Posted by: jboulden on 09/01/2005
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becky mundt  on March 30, 2007 at 03:31 PM 11
Ooh Guys! All I can say is, Touchy Subject! and... I've got to tell ya, extra virgin olive oil has been the best remedy for this particular.... er... uhm, "need" I've ever found. After reading these comments, I'll have to see how "warm coconut oil" measures up now, won't I? By the way, a "friend" told me there is a great lover's play kit from Isabella catalog with all sorts of edible goodies to try :) So that might be another option for folks intersted in experimenting! hapyy testing!
dawn  on June 20, 2007 at 09:44 AM 12
i have a very important question. someone told me that i can use coconut oil as a lube. has anyone heard of this? i have been using it for a month now and everything seems to be fine. of course it goes rancid real quick (that’s why it needs to be kept in the fridge) so you can only take out and use a little at a time. but my questions are: is it going rancid in me? am i using the right kind? i’m using food grade, are these people telling me to use the essential oil? also, using it on my skin, am i still absorbing and benefitting from the coconut oil? or only when you eat it? if anyone can help i would appreciate it. if coconut’s not a good idea- what are the organic, vegan versions of ky jelly??? thanks!
Tina Webb  on November 14, 2007 at 08:01 PM 13
Watch out for the Firefly vendor. They have no phone listed. Shipment is now more than 5 days late. E-mail response is polite but they do NOTHING. All I know is they took my money and product has not arrived.
becky  on November 14, 2007 at 11:57 PM 14
personally I can't STAND the stuff olive oil, or any other natural oil is a ton better kudos though - i've also heard of the isabella catalog lover's kit... from a FRIEND uh huh. well, one of these days maybe we'll get around to ording it and tell you our personal opinion but for now second hand, we hear it's lovely... as loving goes. :)
Robin  on November 15, 2007 at 07:49 AM 15
Olive and coconut oil aren't water soluble though. Don't you have problems with it sticking where it shouldn't? Urinary tract infections, etc? I like aloe better. Slippery without being greasy, it washes off when you want it to and it's got mild antibacterial properties as a bonus. It also doesn't leave impossible to remove oil stains on your delicates. If you are going to use olive oil, use it for massaging your not-so-delicate areas only. And don't use extra-virgin if you're going to mix it with smelly oils. Extra-virgin has a stronger smell that competes with essential oil scents. And, extra-virgin costs more. Go for the cheap stuff for the skin and save the expensive stuff for the frying pan. But be sure to store both in a cool dark place or they'll go rancid and stink icky.
sticky  on January 25, 2008 at 06:27 PM 16
If you're going to use coconut oil, make sure it's virgin coconut oil, not the processed, bleached, deodorised type. Virgin coconut oil is cold-pressed from the flesh of fresh coconuts, will not go rancid and is far better for you (both internally and externally) than processed oil which is usually made from the dried copra, and has been processed with heat, chemicals etc.
Julie Chrisler  on February 24, 2008 at 02:35 AM 17
Speaking of bee stings, most of us don't give them a second thought, but for the 4% of the population for whom a bee sting can be fatal a bee sting is not a trifling matter. It is important to know about bee sting treatments even if you are not one of the 4% for whom a bee sting is so dangerous as you may be a bystander someday when someone gets stung. You must treat a bee sting quickly to prevent death in those rare cases. Julie
Julie Chrisler  on February 24, 2008 at 02:37 AM 18
Oops, my mistake there, the information on bee sting treatment can be found at http://www.squidoo.com/Bee-Sting-Treatment. Sorry about the double post. Julie
Becky  on April 29, 2008 at 01:59 AM 19
okay so what's the cheap wow of seeing my post here repeated verbatim some 13 months later? Sorry, I don't get it. But, okay.
yjyt  on September 26, 2009 at 04:40 AM 20
Nice articles, but I am not clear about the point you mentioned about how to distinguish fake and real luis vuitton. Look more beautiful on your wedding day wearing gorgeous wedding dress that are unique and with lasting impression.
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