A few years back, in Jackson Hole, I signed on for a group ski lesson in order to bone up my skills (which are sadly lacking) at the start of a week of playing in the powder. I can't for the life of me remember the instructor's name, but he was about 23 years old and outdoorsy-cute, and I've always been a sucker for a good flirt with a young guy, so the class (which was a bit beyond my skill level, let's be honest) made tons of sense. At the time.
By the end of the afternoon, a few people in our group all decided we were going to do a longer run - the hardest of the day. It didn't occur to me that doing the hardest run at the end of the day was a dumb idea. I was apprehensive, but enthusiastic, and lifted up to the top of the mountain with excitement tempered by a little trepidation.
About halfway down the second really challenging face, I bit it. Wiped out spectacularly. Got up. Went a few more turns. Blew out again. By the time I got up again, my quads were pumping up and down like a sewing machine needle and I couldn't get my legs to move in the right direction. Up, turn, phew!, turn, wipeout. Up, turn, wipeout. All in all, at some point, after at least ten more tumbles, I found myself in the middle of the mountain, skis off, heels dug into the snow to keep me from sliding the rest of the way down the face, waiting for the St. Bernard sled dog from the cartoons to make his way to rescue me, hot whiskey in a little barrel on his throat.
God bless No Name instructor, waiting at the bottom of that particular part of the run, patiently waiting for me to make my way down the hill. By the time I got to the bottom (um, about 45 minutes later) - I had a complete Stockholm Sydrome-esque crush on him. It was his fault that I was beyond terrified, but I wouldn't leave his side, since I was certain he was the only person who would ever be able to save me from that beast of a mountain.
Severe attachment to No Name Boy aside, the decadence of the week overwhelmed me a bit. I've been lucky - in my later-age adoption of skiing - to have skied in some truly incredible places. But the energy use, product waste and unnecessary decadence of it all strikes me to this day as silly. So - seriously: check out green slopes, steer clear of chemical Thermacare heating pads (which burn the slope faces with their caustic innards) by using natural ones, and make sure you help up the stranded girls with their heels dug in the snow (like the nice guy from Brooklyn who eventually stopped easily, picked me up and helped me get my skis back on).
And if you can find a hot little ski instructor to take you hostage, all the better.
-Heather... off to bemoan the fact that I have no ski trips planned this year...
Posted by: Beth | January 12, 2006 at 07:16 AM