So here at the Bite, we don’t tip what we don’t try, so we can ensure that you are getting good green advice from us.
But it leaves us in a bit of a quandry sometimes, since, well, Jen and I haven’t done EVERYTHING out there under the sun. Oh sure – we got the city-country, homeowner-apartmentrenter, blah blah thing down. But here’s the deal: you guys want a lot of tips on babies, kids and marriage, and, well… somewhere along the way, Jen and I forgot to do those things. Thus, we have no idea what we are talking about.
So we’ve come up with a plan to fix our deficiencies along those lines. Jen has decided to have a baby so that we know what we are talking about when it comes to kids (stay tuned, since we are thinking we are going to use the right to impregnate Jen as a sweepstakes prize), and I have decided to have a green wedding so that we can speak authoritatively on love issues.
Accordingly, I am on the lookout for the husband character in this little play. Thus far, 2 people have made it onto my short list:
Gavin Newsom. No, I don’t know Gavin. But that has never stopped me before. What’s not to love? He’s tall, relatively good-looking, and puts his career in jeopardy to stand up for what he believes in (being an honest, honorable guy willing to lose everything for telling the truth is… well… Just. Plain. Hot). Besides, he’s out there working to save the earth, so you gotta love that.
Mark Morford. No, I don’t know Mark. But that has never stopped me before. I will fall over and worship Mark if I ever run into him on the street. He is – quite simply – one of the funniest human beings on the planet. I can’t risk reading his column or blog while there is ANY liquid anywhere in the room, or I will snort it out my nose and onto my keyboard, even if I’m not drinking it. Let’s be honest: if you wanna make me fall for you, all you have to do is write well. Really well. I have no idea if he’s tall. I’m disturbed by his rampant love of dogs coupled with an apparent inability to get one. I am also completely put off by the fact that it’s very hard to google a biography of him and find out if he is taken. Or tall. But he could just write me love letters that would make me howl, and that would probably offset any possible shortness. Or girlfriends/boyfriends.
-Heather… off to enjoy my last days in Italy… sigh...
Posted by: JB (#2) | October 03, 2006 at 06:52 AM